What Did You Call Me?

              “Misnomer”:  Applying a wrong name to some person or thing (Webster’s New World 

College Dictionary).  The misnaming of a thing is often due to ignorance of the truth or a misunderstanding of the word(s) being used.  For instance, “sunrise” is a misnomer applied to a daily event as a result of a lack of scientific understanding regarding the rotation of the earth.  We know better today, but we continue to use the misnomer.  We also continue to refer to making a phone call as “dialing” a number, when in reality, there are no more dials on our phones.  I’m still debating about the term “old guy” when applied to me.  Is that a misnomer, the truth, or just an insult?

                I was thinking about this phenomenon the other night while I was watching the third game of the World Series.  As a side, I seldom watch baseball during the regular season, but enjoy watching the World Series for some reason.  Every four years I enjoy watching Olympic events that I never watch at any other time.  I’ll have to explore the reasons for that some other time.  Getting back to the World Series.  Shouldn’t they be called the Most of North America Series?  There is plenty of enthusiasm for baseball in the rest of the Americas, and in some other countries such as Japan, but the so-called World Series includes only U.S. teams and the Toronto Blue Jays from Canada.  It really isn’t the “World” Series.

                And how about American “football”?  Really, how often does the foot become an integral part of the game?  Certainly not nearly as often as the hands, arms, legs and shoulders.  Maybe a better name for the game would be Prolate Spheroid.  Or, if that’s too cerebral for Oakland fans, Funny Looking Ball That’s Carried or Thrown Much More Than It’s Kicked.  Football, in the U.S., is a misnomer.  “Soccer” is not so much a misnomer as a bad slang term invented, believe it or not, by the British.  Yes, the same British who are so adamant that the game is called football (or the Spanish equivalent futbol).  It seems an association was formed in the 1860s to standardize several different kinds of football games being played in the empire.  Being a people who loved to abbreviate words, the first five letters “assoc” were extracted from “association” and used to describe the official game of football.  For whatever reason, and I can immediately think of one possibility, this abbreviation was quickly shortened to “soc.”  At that same time in history there were people who enjoyed adding “er” to certain words.  Thus, rugby was often referred to as ruggers.  So, “soc” became “soccer” in no time at all.  This is now the name of the game in countries where there were already games called “football” when the word “soccer” was introduced (U.S., Canada, Australia, New Zealand, parts of Ireland).  “Football” is not a misnomer when referring to soccer.

                As all this was swirling around in my head Sunday morning, it occurred to me that we Christians cling to some misnomers that could be detrimental to our spiritual growth or understanding of who God is.  Take, for example, the word “sanctuary.”  In spite of decades of attempting to educate locals about the proper use of the word, I still hear people refer to the room where we gather on Sundays as the “sanctuary.”  In the Old Testament the sanctuary is the place where God lived.  There were altars for sacrifices, priests who acted as go-betweens, and strict rules protecting the holiness of the place.  In the New Testament the people of God are the sanctuaries.  No longer does God live in temples built by human hands (Acts 17:24).  Instead, he lives in us.  We are his temples as individuals (I Corinthians 3:16a) and we are his temples as gathered groups of believers (I Corinthians 3:16b and 6:19).  He lives in us, not in our buildings.  Therefore, “sanctuary,” when referring to a meeting place, is a misnomer.  His sanctuary meets in an auditorium, gymnasium or living room.  He is in us at all times, and we don’t need to be in a particular place to be in his presence.

                Now, I’m waiting to see how someone might abbreviate that.

Golfing, Hunting and Hoping.

                “Hope springs eternal in the human breast.  Man never is, but always to be blessed.  The soul, uneasy and confined from home, rests and expatiates in a life to come.”  Alexander Pope wrote these words in his An Essay on Man in the early 18^th century.  While it seems there are always exceptions to every rule, it appears this assertion is universally true.  No matter how dire a circumstance, we always seem to hold out at least a little bit of hope that life will get better.

                I find this true of two activities I enjoy, hunting and golf.  Those of us who lack a mastery of the game of golf, and probably always will, continue to pay our money for the privilege of being frustrated for a few hours, often embarrassing ourselves in the process.  I have been playing golf for about fifteen years.  The trouble is I only play about once or twice a year.  There is no wondering why my improvement in the game has been extremely slow.  I have moved past my first stage of concerning myself only with the count of the number of golf balls I lost.  I now actually keep score of the number of times I hit the ball.  I will never be good at this game.  So why do I continue to plunk down my credit card and spend four hours of my life to play the game?  Hope.  Every time I get discouraged, I hit one really great shot and immediately begin thinking I just might be getting the hang of it.  If I just stick with it, I tell myself, I will one day be blessed with a decent score.

                I have been hunting deer since October 2006.  I have made 48 attempts to get a deer.  Currently, the score stands at Deer: 48  Me: 0.  Why do I keep going out?  Hope.  I get a turkey every spring.  I have had some wonderful opportunities to shoot deer and have blown them.  Other people who hunt in the same places I hunt shoot bucks.  I have been told I am doing all the right things.  I am conscious of my human scent.  I scout out areas before the season opens.  I walk quietly.  I learn new techniques every year.  I have the right equipment.  I just haven’t been in the right places at the right times with the right skills.  But I keep going, and am thoroughly convinced I will bag a buck (and I don’t care how many points he will have) one of these days.  I was recently told, by a somewhat surprised hunter who knows me well, that I have a great attitude about it.  Apparently, lots of guys do a lot of grumbling when they aren’t successful in this area.  I just know that if I persist, I will one day be rewarded.  I have hope.

                The Apostle Paul wrote to the Roman Christians, “For in this hope we were saved.  Now hope that is seen is not hope.  For who hopes for what he sees?  But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.”  This has always seemed like one of those “Duh!” passages to me.  That is, until I noticed the last part about waiting with patience.  That’s the hard part, isn’t it?  Holding out hope, but doing it with patience.  I am reminded of a little quip I heard many years ago about a prayer from an impatient person, “Lord, please grant me patience, and grant it now!”

                It seems to me that God has made us creatures who tend to hope for better things.  It appears to be a part of who we are as humans.  Like most things, however, we have managed to pervert the gift we have been given.  By that I mean we often spend way too much time and energy trying to make our hopes reality, while ignoring that divine hope for eternal things.  I don’t mean to suggest we should eliminate hoping for better circumstances in this life.  If I am right, and hope is a God-given gift to help us to continue to get up every morning, go to work, labor at making relationships right, and attempt to ascertain and to do the will of God, then I must not give up hope.  However, the hope we must cultivate more and more is our hope for eternal things.

                C.S. Lewis wrote, Most people, if they had really learned to look into their own hearts, would know that they do want, and want acutely, something that cannot be had in this world.  There are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you, but they never quite keep their promise.  And it is this hope of things to come that must keep us going, keep us serving our Lord, keep us focused on what really matters. 

                Hunting and golf are small potatoes in this eternal life I am living.  So, why be impatient?  I’d rather save my impatience for desiring heavenly blessings.

"Are Ewe Pregnant?" "Are You for Real?"

                Charlatan: “A person who pretends or claims to have more knowledge or skill than he or she possesses; quack.”  An “imposter, mountebank, fraud, fake, phony.” 

                A picture of Robert Preston dressed as Harold Hill should accompany this dictionary entry.  He was the salesman in The Music Man who sold band instruments about which he knew absolutely nothing.  In order to assure his dupes he knew what he was talking about, he took on the phony title of professor, and convinced them all of their sons could learn to play using his “think method.”  Or perhaps a picture of Sinclair Lewis’ Elmer Gantry played by Burt Lancaster.  Gantry pretended to be an evangelist in the 1920’s, using his position to garner money and to satisfy his womanizing urges.  Imposters.

                Recently, I heard about a guy who claimed to know how to tell if a sheep is pregnant without wasting any time doing one of those pesky blood or urine tests or doing an ultrasound.  His method was much simpler.  He just asked the sheep, “Are you pregnant?”  The ewe blinked once at him, thus signaling that she was, indeed, with lamb.  “That’ll be $60, please.”  Whether or not he believes he has actually communicated with the sheep is irrelevant, according to the Dictionary.com definition.  Whether or not he is correct in his assessment is just as irrelevant.  Some casual observation of the ewe in question would have led anyone to believe she was most likely pregnant.  He could simply make an educated guess (which he did) and be about 90% sure he was correct.  But I could do that, and I wouldn’t charge $60.  A professional with a testing kit would have done a scientific test for about the same cost.  The man claimed to have more knowledge or skill than he actually possessed, and attempted to bilk people out of their hard-earned cash by convincing them he was a skilled professional.  Charlatan.

                Even before states began talking with people about signing up for Obamacare, crooks were busy offering their services for coverage that doesn’t exist, or coverage that can be gotten for far less through legitimate channels.  With the universal confusion that currently exists concerning a 1,000 page document that hasn’t been read by more than a dozen or so people, and has been interpreted in a dozen different ways, the pasture is full of eager uninsured and uninformed sheep (many of them elderly) ready to be sheared.  Frauds.

                Unscrupulous people continue to use websites, emails and phone calls to convince people they have won something special or are rightful heirs to someone else’s fortune.  In spite of all the warnings, U.S. dollars are flowing into places like Jamaica and Nigeria to help put deposed princes back in power or aid them in transferring their riches out of the country before the bad people get it.  Phonies.

                Throughout history there have been religious charlatans preying upon the unsuspecting, the trusting, the faithful yet uninformed.  They claim to have special knowledge unavailable to anyone else.  Just trust them and they will take care of you.  They have a power source the rest of us could never tap into, but they are compassionate and will share that power with us…for a price.  The Apostle Paul warned of these people who worm their way into homes and take advantage of those who are “always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth.”  These imposters, he writes, will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived.

                There is a defense against such frauds.  The truth.  However, the truth must be learned, accepted, assimilated into our thoughts and actions, and used as a defense when necessary.  That truth is the scriptures, God-breathed and useful for teaching the uninformed, rebuking phonies, correcting imposters and training all to be righteous.  The best defense against spiritual charlatans is a sure grasp on the truth.

                By the way, while scripture speaks a great deal about sheep, never do they indicate any of them are able to communicate with humans, by speaking or blinking an eye.  The only talking animal in the Bible is a donkey.  And it turns out the rider was the real ass because he was attempting to mislead God’s people.  Charlatan.