Freedom to Love

                One huge benefit of retirement is the freedom to change our daily schedules almost at will.  When we found out our next grandchild was to be born overseas, my wife was free to travel there and stay for over a month, helping with the various duties associated with such a dramatic family change. 

                I've been living the life of a bachelor for about three weeks.  The first week was euphoric.  I ate stew every evening, munched on chips whenever I felt like it, watched sports and war movies without interruption and went to bed after I woke up from my reclining position on the couch.  The second week was not quite as much fun, but I still enjoyed the freedom to take off and go hunting without advance planning, to spontaneously take in a movie, to listen to music instead of having the television on and to eat chili every evening.  I could have disassembled and reassembled my chain saw in the living room…had I been so inclined.  Now I am in my fourth week and find myself mostly thinking about when she is coming home.  I am reminded of a song from the early '70s with the words, "looking back and longing for the freedom of my chains…"  I have always been struck with the irony of that thought.  My present situation drives home the point that I am actually much freer when I am experiencing that fullness that only another person can provide. 

                This extended separation is different from the last one we experienced a few years ago because I am only about 30 minutes from my son and his family and because I have so much work to do on the house.  The busier I am, the less chance to think about being lonely.  However, I do think about it.  That is, I find myself thinking about the reunion.  I plan to pick her up at the airport.  Will we see each other from a distance, run toward each other in slow motion and embrace with the kiss of the century?  Not likely.  Maybe we will just hug for several minutes, basking in the warmth of each other's arms.  That is not really our style either.  It is quite possible there will be a quick kiss just before she hands me her luggage, sighs and comments about how tiring that flight was.  After almost 39 years we may be just a little too comfortable with each other.  But I can dream. 

                I suspect that it will be a little bit of a chore to adjust to being "chained" again.  Power tools will have to be worked on in the garage.  I may have to retreat to some place quiet to listen to my music.  In addition, I will not have total control of the remote.  On the bright side, however, perhaps all of these half-completed New York Times Sunday Crossword Puzzles that are lying here will finally be finished.  

               No matter, I thank God I have someone to love.